I was posed with a dilemma upon moving into our new house. Our media room doesn't have a light fixture in it. Oh, it had a light switch on the wall, but after trying the four outlets located on each wall, we discovered that none of these outlets were actually controlled by the light switch. Good ol' new mexican electricians. Okay. I thought I had solved the problem by putting a torchiere in the corner next to the couch so we could turn the light on while sitting down. The light itself is connected to a little box that transforms the light fixture into a "touch light" of sorts just by touching any metal on the light. Good enough for this lazy american.

But then I realized that my and the Mother Unit's eyes were beginning to suffer from eye strain. The problem: there still wasn't enough light in the room to watch tv easily.  Also, the spot that the torchiere was in prevented us from having a place to put our drinks (read: late-nite margaritas) while watching the ol' boob tube. Also, the Mother Unit and I have been watching a LOT of HGTV. So I present to you my solution. Its called (drum roll please....)

THE HOUSEDAD LIGHTBOX!:

Mother Unit was not pleased with my around the corner, ninja-camera abilities. What the hell kind of ninja am I anyway? I didn't even get her face. Oh well.

My old job, Form Plus Function, had a sale this weekend. 40% off. I was like "Hell yeah! Now I can finally afford the exspensive ass stuff this place sells!" I jumped in the old Pontiac and picked up a nice end table. It originally had a cubby hole sort of thing on the type and a drawer for storage on the bottom. That is until I broke out the drill, screws, and my findings at Home Depot. There is a short video (that hopefully should load quickly) at the end of this post showing this piece of "art" in action. Anyway, here is the list of items that were needed to build this bad boy:

a. (2) 12" fluorescent light strips that can be linked together.

b. (1) piece of plastic. Remember the plastic that covered the long, rectangular florescent lights in your elementary school? You know, the kind that scratched your hands when you hit it while standing on your desk? Well, they still sell the light covers for those at Home Depot in 24"x48" sheets. Awesome.

c. Drill, wood drill bit, screws, and some cheap door hardware.

d. (1.5) baby-and-mom-free hours

So here goes: You take the drill and aforementioned bit and drill a hole through the back of a $162.00 East Indian hardwood end-table from Jaipur. Go ahead. Its fun mutilating expensive furniture. The hole has to be big enough for the cord that will connect the two light strips. After that is done, take a light strip and mount it to the backside about 3 inches from the top of the piece. Make sure to not use a ruler or a level. Its more fun making holes with the drill only to find that you were off by an 1/8 of an inch. Four times. On one side. Do the same on the inside of the door-less cubby hole. Connect the two light strips together and plug them into an available outlet to make sure they work. Don't forget to spill Guinness on your fingers and rub the end of the plug with your hand. Electricity will be kind enough to make sure you never forget.

Now that you have the light strips mounted, measure the opening of the cubby hole. In my case, it was 15 inches square. This is were the plastic light cover comes in. Because its 24"x48", you have some room to play if you cut the plastic wrong or get mad and break it in half. I made my piece 16"x16" so that I would have some room to mount the hardware onto the wood and plastic sheet. After another 20 minutes of cursing you should be finished. Have a look at the video to see what I mean:(It will take about a minute to load, but its worth it. Check it out.)

I was clicking away on the old internets earlier this morning and came across this picture:

This is supposed to be the "new" KITT for the newly-recycled Knight Rider series due out in a couple of months. What the hell? A Ford? A MUSTANG? Now most of you know that the original was an early `80's Trans-AM, which was a pretty futuristic looking car in a world full of Yugos, Crown Victorias, and Cadillacs. Christ, I think a baby angel just died. I'm not sure how much better a concept I could have come up with, but I certainly know I could have done better than this as a replacement for the original KITT. I will reserve any and all bad thoughts concerning the actual show itself until I see the 1st episode. Until then, here is a picture of what the real KITT should look like. Enjoy and have a great Thursday.

Upon the advice of fellow SAHD Joeprah and my good friend Danielle, I introduced my child to the infectious wonderment of Yo Gabba Gabba, a children's show on Nick Jr. 

I found some older episodes on Comcast on Demand and decided I would give it a shot. Holy Christ, I don't think I have ever had so much fun watching a children's show. The songs that are played on this show are beat-heavy and engaging. The music will bore its way deep into your skull, set up shop, and send signals to the rest of your body to jerk and gyrate uncontrollably. I giggle constantly at my little one as she moves and shakes to the `80's-infused hip-hop beats. The characters on the show are super colorful and the different segments with these monsters always has some sort of life-lesson involved. Stuff like learning how to brush your teeth or not to cut in line. Then there's the host of the show: DJ Lance Rock (Lance Robertson of west-coast indie music fame) I look at him and I think: Were we separated at birth? My little girl points to the screen and says "Dada!" every time he pops up in an episode. Here, decide for yourself on this one:

If I had thick sideburns . a big fluffy orange hat, and some bigger Run DMC-esque specks, maybe, just maybe, we could be related. I have to ask my mother on this one...

Here he is: The little red monster that has invaded my home and set up shop in the deep recesses of my subconscious. I sing his songs while sleeping, taking a shower, making dinner. He is on my television. On my floor in the form of a plush animal. He was not willingly let into the home, but the sister-in-law bought this for Adriana a few months ago and now I can't even go to the grocery store without my little one pointing at every Elmo she sees. Do you know how many products this little bastard has his face plastered on? At least two to three products in every aisle. Next time you go, check it out, you will be pleasantly surprised.

So anyway, as you all may very well know, I am a die-hard Sesame Street fan. Being an only child, I learned not only how to share and play nice from this show, I also learned that one must say "Ah-ah-aahhhh" whenever counting anything. I also learned that Jim Hensen's son doesn't quite have the magic that senior did. He's good, don't get me wrong...just not AS good. Because of my adoration of most things Sesame, I have been acquiring quite a nice-sized collection of dvd videos via Amazon, and I like popping in one of these to sit and watch with the baby unit. We point and quasi-count together and I love being able to see animations and hear songs I haven't seen in like 20+ years....

Then I made the mistake of buying an Elmo video and tossing it on, thinking that my daughter would have the same semi-indifferance to it as she did the others. Holy Christ, it was like I gave her the first hit of crack off the pipe.  She would sit and watch Elmo for infinity if I let her. Look at the picture to the left...do you see it? Do you see the lust in her eyes for the little red monster? She is holding Elmo while watching Elmo. If you look at her mouth, she is in the middle of saying Elmo too. I could be having a brain aneurism on the floor next to her and she would just push me to the side because I fell on the spot that is prime for Elmo-watching. I am balls-deep in Elmo and I am just lucky that the little bastard doesn't have teeth. I need some sort of Elmo-methadone for my child. Someone, anyone, please help.