So, what is it with kids and their ability to go completely limp when you try and pick them up? Its like my daughter's bones have been replaced with jell-o. This new, "jell-o bone syndrome" we'll call it, is also somehow linked to the vocal cords and the more jell-o like the bones become increases the decibel level to which the voice can reach. Say, for instance, the little gremlin is at the park and you've been patiently waiting for her to poop so that you can take her home and change her butt. The instant you say " Its time to go, your butt smells like a landfill." so begins the screaming and the jell-o bone syndrome. Now not only do you have a ragdoll screaming at the top of her lungs in your hand, you also have a shitty diaper in face as well. This effect is amplified to astronomical proportions if food or a favorite toy is involved. Like when its time to put down the toy you errantly gave to her while grocery shopping that you don't intend on paying for. When the jell-o bone syndrome starts in a grocery store, however, this also starts the "you have entered the slowest line possible" effect. Super. Now half the shopping population of your town has seen your child throw a fit. When this happens I pray for someone to say something to me like "control your child" or "can I help you sir?" This will unleash a torrent of un-repeatable statements sure to scare the knickers off of any nun. I save up all the rage that comes from these situations for the moment when I can watch someone wither away like the wicked witch of the west. No one yet has asked me for help. I wish a muthaf***** would.

Wow. That was quite the rant. Happy Saturday everybody.