Here he is: The little red monster that has invaded my home and set up shop in the deep recesses of my subconscious. I sing his songs while sleeping, taking a shower, making dinner. He is on my television. On my floor in the form of a plush animal. He was not willingly let into the home, but the sister-in-law bought this for Adriana a few months ago and now I can't even go to the grocery store without my little one pointing at every Elmo she sees. Do you know how many products this little bastard has his face plastered on? At least two to three products in every aisle. Next time you go, check it out, you will be pleasantly surprised.

So anyway, as you all may very well know, I am a die-hard Sesame Street fan. Being an only child, I learned not only how to share and play nice from this show, I also learned that one must say "Ah-ah-aahhhh" whenever counting anything. I also learned that Jim Hensen's son doesn't quite have the magic that senior did. He's good, don't get me wrong...just not AS good. Because of my adoration of most things Sesame, I have been acquiring quite a nice-sized collection of dvd videos via Amazon, and I like popping in one of these to sit and watch with the baby unit. We point and quasi-count together and I love being able to see animations and hear songs I haven't seen in like 20+ years....

Then I made the mistake of buying an Elmo video and tossing it on, thinking that my daughter would have the same semi-indifferance to it as she did the others. Holy Christ, it was like I gave her the first hit of crack off the pipe.  She would sit and watch Elmo for infinity if I let her. Look at the picture to the left...do you see it? Do you see the lust in her eyes for the little red monster? She is holding Elmo while watching Elmo. If you look at her mouth, she is in the middle of saying Elmo too. I could be having a brain aneurism on the floor next to her and she would just push me to the side because I fell on the spot that is prime for Elmo-watching. I am balls-deep in Elmo and I am just lucky that the little bastard doesn't have teeth. I need some sort of Elmo-methadone for my child. Someone, anyone, please help.