I was posed with a dilemma upon moving into our new house. Our media room doesn't have a light fixture in it. Oh, it had a light switch on the wall, but after trying the four outlets located on each wall, we discovered that none of these outlets were actually controlled by the light switch. Good ol' new mexican electricians. Okay. I thought I had solved the problem by putting a torchiere in the corner next to the couch so we could turn the light on while sitting down. The light itself is connected to a little box that transforms the light fixture into a "touch light" of sorts just by touching any metal on the light. Good enough for this lazy american.

But then I realized that my and the Mother Unit's eyes were beginning to suffer from eye strain. The problem: there still wasn't enough light in the room to watch tv easily.  Also, the spot that the torchiere was in prevented us from having a place to put our drinks (read: late-nite margaritas) while watching the ol' boob tube. Also, the Mother Unit and I have been watching a LOT of HGTV. So I present to you my solution. Its called (drum roll please....)

THE HOUSEDAD LIGHTBOX!:

Mother Unit was not pleased with my around the corner, ninja-camera abilities. What the hell kind of ninja am I anyway? I didn't even get her face. Oh well.

My old job, Form Plus Function, had a sale this weekend. 40% off. I was like "Hell yeah! Now I can finally afford the exspensive ass stuff this place sells!" I jumped in the old Pontiac and picked up a nice end table. It originally had a cubby hole sort of thing on the type and a drawer for storage on the bottom. That is until I broke out the drill, screws, and my findings at Home Depot. There is a short video (that hopefully should load quickly) at the end of this post showing this piece of "art" in action. Anyway, here is the list of items that were needed to build this bad boy:

a. (2) 12" fluorescent light strips that can be linked together.

b. (1) piece of plastic. Remember the plastic that covered the long, rectangular florescent lights in your elementary school? You know, the kind that scratched your hands when you hit it while standing on your desk? Well, they still sell the light covers for those at Home Depot in 24"x48" sheets. Awesome.

c. Drill, wood drill bit, screws, and some cheap door hardware.

d. (1.5) baby-and-mom-free hours

So here goes: You take the drill and aforementioned bit and drill a hole through the back of a $162.00 East Indian hardwood end-table from Jaipur. Go ahead. Its fun mutilating expensive furniture. The hole has to be big enough for the cord that will connect the two light strips. After that is done, take a light strip and mount it to the backside about 3 inches from the top of the piece. Make sure to not use a ruler or a level. Its more fun making holes with the drill only to find that you were off by an 1/8 of an inch. Four times. On one side. Do the same on the inside of the door-less cubby hole. Connect the two light strips together and plug them into an available outlet to make sure they work. Don't forget to spill Guinness on your fingers and rub the end of the plug with your hand. Electricity will be kind enough to make sure you never forget.

Now that you have the light strips mounted, measure the opening of the cubby hole. In my case, it was 15 inches square. This is were the plastic light cover comes in. Because its 24"x48", you have some room to play if you cut the plastic wrong or get mad and break it in half. I made my piece 16"x16" so that I would have some room to mount the hardware onto the wood and plastic sheet. After another 20 minutes of cursing you should be finished. Have a look at the video to see what I mean:(It will take about a minute to load, but its worth it. Check it out.)

So just a few minutes ago, my mom comes home from work (she's been living with us for the past few months until she gets a place of her own, which should be next month) and says that she wants to take the little gremlin for a walk. I'm like sure, its nice outside and its been in the 50's for the past couple of days, so why not. We both get Adriana situated in her stroller and as they are leaving I say "Be back by sundown." WHAT! I actually said that to my mother!? That's awesome. Never in a million years did I ever think I would tell my mother to "be back by sundown." I had a little giggle to myself about that one and thought maybe you would too. Have a good Wednesday.

So, if you are a reader of fellow blogger RebelDad, then you are in the know regarding a recent article concerning SAHDs on this site. I won't go into details, but apparently there are a lot of angry parent bloggers out there. And I am one of them. The nerve of this lady, a miss Lindsay Ferrier. Although I have her personal blog tabbed in my browser right now, I am not going to leave any sort of evil, hateful garbage in response to her article. That would just give her the satisfaction of having yet another blogger bash her thoughts only to have those same thoughts responded to with a snide, smart-alecky remark. Just by typing her name in this space has increased her already high presence in Google. Instead I send out a plea to the blogoshpere. Fellow Stay-At-Home-Dads, and Moms for that matter, listen up:

Its hard enough taking care of our little ones and finding time to socialize with other humans without the phrases "Did you go pee-pees?" or "Is my little gremlin hungry?" coming up every 30 minutes. Why do we have to further distance ourselves from other stay-at-home parents just because they are of a different gender? What the hell is that about anyway? Why does there have to be a "dad's group" and a "mom's group"? Why can't we all (no I am not going to finish that sentence. It is black history month and all, but come on...) Isn't the welfare of our children more important than any misgivings we may have about hanging out with someone of the opposite sex? It isn't even about US as parents, if you really think about it. A play date with other kids is supposed to be about having a chance for our little ones to interact and socialize with children their own age. Being able to socialize as parents is just a perk of having our kids hang together. Why does having our children play together have to have any sort of boundaries surrounding it at all? Of course it has the parental boundaries of discipline and fair play and all, but why do we as parents have to limit ourselves to just hanging out with others of the same sex?

Because of this article, and the droves of comments that followed, a group of men in Nashville, TN have started their own play group. The site for the group is called NashDads.com. Check it out. The idea is simple: A bunch of SAHDs meet once a week and let their kids play together. Then at other times the dads meet, sans kids, and just hang out. Doesn't that sound AWESOME. So now the real reason of this post comes...

STAY-AT-HOME-DADS AND MOMS IN THE SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO AREA:

Please contact me via email. I would love to hang out with other parents while our kids play. Lets start something wonderful in our city different. I invite any and all SAHPs (that's Stay-At-Home-Parents, for the uninitiated) to drop me a quick line and let me know your thoughts on this matter. I mean, come on, aren't we supposed to be teaching our children that just because some people have prejudices in this world doesn't mean we have to have the same mindset ourselves? Seriously people, its time for us to grow up a little. 

My email is housedad AT housedadchronicals.com 

I was clicking away on the old internets earlier this morning and came across this picture:

This is supposed to be the "new" KITT for the newly-recycled Knight Rider series due out in a couple of months. What the hell? A Ford? A MUSTANG? Now most of you know that the original was an early `80's Trans-AM, which was a pretty futuristic looking car in a world full of Yugos, Crown Victorias, and Cadillacs. Christ, I think a baby angel just died. I'm not sure how much better a concept I could have come up with, but I certainly know I could have done better than this as a replacement for the original KITT. I will reserve any and all bad thoughts concerning the actual show itself until I see the 1st episode. Until then, here is a picture of what the real KITT should look like. Enjoy and have a great Thursday.

So, what is it with kids and their ability to go completely limp when you try and pick them up? Its like my daughter's bones have been replaced with jell-o. This new, "jell-o bone syndrome" we'll call it, is also somehow linked to the vocal cords and the more jell-o like the bones become increases the decibel level to which the voice can reach. Say, for instance, the little gremlin is at the park and you've been patiently waiting for her to poop so that you can take her home and change her butt. The instant you say " Its time to go, your butt smells like a landfill." so begins the screaming and the jell-o bone syndrome. Now not only do you have a ragdoll screaming at the top of her lungs in your hand, you also have a shitty diaper in face as well. This effect is amplified to astronomical proportions if food or a favorite toy is involved. Like when its time to put down the toy you errantly gave to her while grocery shopping that you don't intend on paying for. When the jell-o bone syndrome starts in a grocery store, however, this also starts the "you have entered the slowest line possible" effect. Super. Now half the shopping population of your town has seen your child throw a fit. When this happens I pray for someone to say something to me like "control your child" or "can I help you sir?" This will unleash a torrent of un-repeatable statements sure to scare the knickers off of any nun. I save up all the rage that comes from these situations for the moment when I can watch someone wither away like the wicked witch of the west. No one yet has asked me for help. I wish a muthaf***** would.

Wow. That was quite the rant. Happy Saturday everybody.